I passed a cafe somewhere in North Sydney that said 'Hand-crafted coffee'.
What in the world is hand-crafted coffee? How can you hand-craft coffee? I'm trying hard to imagine. Perhaps the barista is sitting there grinding coffee beans in a mortar and pestle until the grounds are exactly the right size for whichever style coffee you prefer - espresso, plunger, Turkish, stove-top, drip-filter, mastication, graveling the pavement, mulching the garden, etc. Then he'll scoop up boiling water with his palms and pour it gently on the grounds while stirring it constantly with his big toe...oh, wait, it said HAND-crafted. No toe.
At least it didn't say 'Lovingly hand-crafted coffee'. Otherwise I'd have to imagine him doing all this with a bloody beatific smile on his face. That would have been too much.
