End of chapter 57

So ends one more chapter of my life. I wonder what the lesson is that is to be learnt from this. Don’t know. At present I’m still savouring the exhilarating feeling of freedom at long last. I’ve got back control of the plot, even if this wasn’t how I wanted this particular act to end.

Perhaps I’ll know what the lesson is eventually. Eventually when the audience has left, the orchestra has packed up, the stage has been swept clean. When the dressing room has been cleared, the set has been broken up and packed away, the posters have been taken down. When the actors have all said their goodbyes and forgotten each other, when a new play comes into town. Maybe then one day as I’m sitting in a park, writing a new storyline, I’ll feel the lesson gently creeping up to me and making itself felt.

I’ll wait.

What would I taste like to a cannibal?

Well, apparently like barbecued tofu, according to a quiz that asked me all sorts of questions including things like if I moisturise or not, and if most of the excess fat in my body is on my face or butt, and so on.

A cannibal would kill me, take a bite, spit it out in disgust and leave my body uneaten. What a waste. Honestly, who would like to eat barbecued tofu, I'd like to know. Not me, a vegetarian, let alone a cannibal.

I'm trying to contact the person who created that quiz to find out what I should do to taste like nargisi kofta.

Just relax…

I’m in my yoga class. The instructor is this sweet aunty who starts off with some relaxation techniques. As we lie down, we are told to relax individual parts of our body. She begins in her soothing voice, “Relax your toes… Relax the top of your feet… Relax the soles of your feet… Relax your ankles… Just relax… Now relax your calf muscles… Relax your shins…” and so on, moving upwards, covering all body parts. And it is truly relaxing.

Her voice is receding slightly now as my mind slows down. Thoughts are jostling for space with rather less fervour now. My breathing gets slower, I automatically breathe into my belly rather than my lungs. “Relax your hips… relax your lower back…” My shoulders actually feel the knots loosening, listening to her instructions. Ahh…the world is soft and fluffy again.

Aunty continues her upward journey. “Relax your chest… Relax the back of your neck… Relax your face…” I feel myself sinking into the ground and floating an inch above the ground at the same time. Blissful. “Relax your cheeks… Relax your tongue… Relax your teeth..-” Say WHAT?

Panic. How do I relax my teeth? Did she mean relax your jaws? No, cos she said relax your jaws earlier. It is definitely teeth. But how? I cannot control my teeth. And in any case I can’t remember my teeth feeling tensed up ever. What to do? What to do? And now I’ve missed the next bit that she’s asking us to relax. I’ve also realised I’ve come back to earth with a resounding thud, all the softness and fluffiness gone. My shoulders feel as stiff as a plank. The knots have come back with a vengeance.

With great effort, I try to forget my teeth and concentrate on relaxing. Ah, found her voice amidst my inner chaotic voices. “Just relax... Relax your forehead…” OK, I’m back, everyone. I’ll find my groove in a mo. All good. Yes, Aunty, please carry on in your restful voice. “Relax the back of your head…” Yep, doing it. “Relax the top of your head…” Done it, totally. “Relax your hair..-” HAIR?!

Alright, that’s it. I give up.