I’m in my yoga class. The instructor is this sweet aunty who starts off with some relaxation techniques. As we lie down, we are told to relax individual parts of our body. She begins in her soothing voice, “Relax your toes… Relax the top of your feet… Relax the soles of your feet… Relax your ankles… Just relax… Now relax your calf muscles… Relax your shins…” and so on, moving upwards, covering all body parts. And it is truly relaxing.
Her voice is receding slightly now as my mind slows down. Thoughts are jostling for space with rather less fervour now. My breathing gets slower, I automatically breathe into my belly rather than my lungs. “Relax your hips… relax your lower back…” My shoulders actually feel the knots loosening, listening to her instructions. Ahh…the world is soft and fluffy again.
Aunty continues her upward journey. “Relax your chest… Relax the back of your neck… Relax your face…” I feel myself sinking into the ground and floating an inch above the ground at the same time. Blissful. “Relax your cheeks… Relax your tongue… Relax your teeth..-” Say WHAT?
Panic. How do I relax my teeth? Did she mean relax your jaws? No, cos she said relax your jaws earlier. It is definitely teeth. But how? I cannot control my teeth. And in any case I can’t remember my teeth feeling tensed up ever. What to do? What to do? And now I’ve missed the next bit that she’s asking us to relax. I’ve also realised I’ve come back to earth with a resounding thud, all the softness and fluffiness gone. My shoulders feel as stiff as a plank. The knots have come back with a vengeance.
With great effort, I try to forget my teeth and concentrate on relaxing. Ah, found her voice amidst my inner chaotic voices. “Just relax... Relax your forehead…” OK, I’m back, everyone. I’ll find my groove in a mo. All good. Yes, Aunty, please carry on in your restful voice. “Relax the back of your head…” Yep, doing it. “Relax the top of your head…” Done it, totally. “Relax your hair..-” HAIR?!
Alright, that’s it. I give up.
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